Is Hell real?

There are papers in Hell—

Obtaining a copy, you will find these the chief items of interest—

New Play. Great success of Mr Esmond’s work—The Folly of Virtue.

Police Court News. Arrest of two missionaries as spies and disturbers of the peace.

Local Scandal.

Financial News. New companies.

Racing News. All the starters.

New Arrivals in Hell. Full list, together with interviews with prominent visitors.

The only item, which will fill you with surprise is the racing news.

How do they manage for horses? you ask.

They imagine them. 

They each think of some famous racehorse they knew of on earth. 

Then they visualise it as racing along the course and winning. 

On the day of the race, anyone enters any horse he likes and the names are announced. 

Each backer imagines that his horse is going to win.

The more people there are backing a horse, and the stronger their wills, the more likely it is to win. 

The worst of it is the judge generally declares the horse he favours has won, even when it obviously has not. 

They see all the horses racing, and they see the one that has the strongest backing gradually pull ahead, but despite this, the judge often declares that it has fouled another.    

I suppose that is often true? 

It usually is. 

You see some of the backers are sure to devise a cunning underhand trick in their minds whereby they can outdistance other horses. 

In short, every horse will have fouled somewhere, but there is always a fearful row after a race, usually culminating in a free fight.