Puny grain?

I may be

Just a pygmy

A puny grain

In the main

But make no mistake

A puny grain in the make

Undoubtedly for its own sake

A brilliant golden round it would take.

Existential and hilarious shower thoughts?

Godly Humor Series

the funny side of life

Your wish is His command!

If fish live in the water, do they ever wonder what it feels like to be completely surrounded by dry, breathable ceiling?

At what exact point during a lazy afternoon does a nap stop being a rest and legally transition into a time-travel experiment?

If a statue in the town square gets a pigeon on its head, is the pigeon the rider or is the statue merely an extremely slow horse?

Why do we insist on calling it a building when it has already finished being built and is currently just standing there?

If you try to fail and succeed, which one have you actually accomplished?

Does a mirror realize it is reversing everything, or does it genuinely believe we are the ones doing it wrong?

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how did they ever manage to glue the first layer of Teflon to the pan?

Why is it that when you open a bag of chips, the air inside feels more authentic than the room you are currently sitting in?

If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap buttered toast to a cat's back and drop it?

Is an umbrella just a tiny, personal roof that you carry around to insult the clouds?

If invisible ink is truly invisible, how do the manufacturers check the bottles to make sure they filled them up?

Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

If a book about failure doesn't sell any copies, is that considered a massive success or a total disaster?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance mean the exact same thing when slim and fat are opposites?

If clouds are made of water, why don't they just fall down all at once instead of trickling out like a leaking faucet?

Does a shadow get tired of following you around all day without ever getting a turn to lead?

If a clock is broken, is it actually right twice a day, or is it just standing its ground out of stubbornness?

Why do we tell actors to break a leg when the entire point of their job is to keep both legs entirely unbroken?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from, and should child services be notified?

Can a deaf person still hear themselves think, or is internal monologue just a silent movie with very intense subtitles?

If you punch yourself in the face and it hurts, are you strong for inflicting the damage or weak for not being able to take it?

Why do round pizzas come in square boxes and get cut into triangles?

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have so many branches?

Does a refrigerator light actually stay on when the door closes, or is it a quantum superposition happening entirely in the dark?

If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, do you become the vacuum cleaner?

Why do we say sweet dreams when most dreams actually involve running away from a giant turnip in an open-air supermarket?

If a stutterer swears, does their mother wash their mouth out with soap multiple times per syllable?

Can an omnipotent being create a boulder so heavy that they can't lift it, or do they just hire a crane?

Why do we press harder on the remote control buttons when we know the batteries are completely dead?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

How many pillows is the correct number before a bed officially declares itself a fortress against productivity?

If a word in the dictionary is misspelled, how would anyone on earth ever find out?

Why is it called rush hour when traffic moves at the precise speed of continental drift?

If you replace the handle of an axe and then later replace the blade, is it still the same axe your grandfather used to chop wood?

Does a single grain of sand constitute a beach, or does it require peer pressure from billions of its friends?

Why do we sleep with our eyes closed if we spend the entire day wishing we could close our eyes to the world?

If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others have to drown too to maintain the routine?

Why does Inflammable mean the exact same thing as Flammable when the prefix in- usually means the opposite?

If you buy an eraser, are you paying for the privilege of making your own mistakes disappear, or are you paying for the dust?

Can you daydream at night, or does the sun have a copyright on the term?

Why do we put shipment on a truck and send cargo in a ship?

Why do we clap our hands together to show approval when we could just as easily flap our elbows?

If nothing lasts forever, does that mean nothing is a permanent condition?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

If you bite your own finger and it hurts, is your finger weak or are your teeth too strong?

Why do people say I slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours screaming for emotional validation?

If a skeleton in the closet comes out, does it have to pay rent or just contribute to the household chores?

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies when the universe clearly intended for those verbs to be swapped?

If you drop soap on the floor, does the floor become clean, or does the soap become dirty?