What is life's greatest gift?

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked―

How old was your husband?

98, she replied, two years older than me.

So you're 96, the undertaker commented.

She responded, Hardly worth going home, is it?

Is life truly a gift?

Think! Think! Think!

Think! Think! Think!

Do angels wear shoes?

How do angels wear their hair?

You are here!

Is everyone equal in heaven?

Where can you enter a complaint in Heaven?

Where can you enter a complaint in Heaven?

Can you direct me to a place where I can enter a complaint?

I have been kept awake by loud singing, and it is an infringement on the rights of another, for such conduct to be allowed.

I have not seen a policeman since my arrival.

The few policemen here wear citizen's clothes and they may be among the singers who disturbed you.

Golden Gleams from the Heavenly Light

The hell of it!

Heaven's Gate

When I get to Heaven's Gate, it'll be with a long list of complaints.

Why hang your harp on the willow?

If you can find no fault in yourself, hang your harp on the nearest willow, for your progress is at an end.

What is heaven like?

Heaven is the place where love exists.

Can you pray to God in your head?

What is a powerful prayer for patience?

Lord, grant me patience, NOW!

What is the shortest prayer to God?

Thy Brain―

Thy Heart―

Thy Hands, O Lord!

Amen

What, amico?

Hope is Eternal and Truth is―and Truth is―ha―hum―what, amico?

Is it to shrink or become smaller?

Mere herrings are some souls.

The more one tries to enlarge them, the smaller they shrink.

Do you mean dark horses?

 "... basement dwellers?"

"Dark horses, you mean?"

Why are some people scared of cats?

How do you signify an inch?

It might take you countless thousands of years to raise yourself one inch spiritually, but it is an inch in the right direction.