Godly Humor Volume Two

Godly Humour Volume 2

the funny side of life

God!

The hairs of your head are really numbered, all your affairs are open to the eye of God, and it is His holy and gracious will to make all things work together for your good.

God sees all—eternity is His outlook.

Let your wings grow a little more, do not weigh yourself down to the earth as you do—let your mind soar. Happiness is your right—it is the gift of God to all, and when things go awry, then that is against God's wish—and in many instances if one or the other had only kept close to Him, it might have been avoided.

—Zodiac, the Christ Messenger

Perhaps on earth you work too much—more than is really necessary. The mass of needless things that you accumulate round you, the artificial wants that you create, the breakneck pace of your lives to provide all these things, seem to us absurd and rather pitiful. Your political economy is mere child’s play, your governments are cumbrous machines for doing the unnecessary, most of your work is useless and your lives would be nearly futile if you did not suffer so much that your souls learn, though unwillingly, that most of their strivings are vain.

—The Judge

In these homes we enjoy sweet communion with kindred, unalloyed by the cares of earth. Here those who left you, aged and wrinkled with a long life of hard work, are again in the prime of life. Perhaps on earth you work too much—old age is a garment worn out and is left in the past.

How do you practice your religion?

We are told that we are not to resist evil, but to turn the other cheek. The world assumes that evil must be resisted by every means available.

We are told to love our enemies and bless those who curse us. The world assumes that friends are to be loved and enemies hated.

We are told that the sun rises on the just and the unjust alike. The world considers this undiscriminating—it would like to see clouds over evil people and is offended when they go unpunished.

We are told that outcasts and harlots enter the Kingdom of God before many who are perfunctorily righteous. Again unfair, the world thinks—respectable people should head the procession.

We are told that the gate to salvation is narrow. The world would prefer it to be broad.

We are told to be as carefree as birds and flowers. The world counsels prudence.

We are told that it is more difficult for the rich to enter the Kingdom than for a camel to pass through a needle's eye. The world admires wealth.

We are told that happy people are those who are meek, who weep, who are merciful and pure in heart. The world assumes that it is the rich, the powerful, and the well-born who are happy.

—Huston Smith

Look closely at your own habits, your thoughts, and see what can be profitably eliminated. 

One must come over here [the world of spirits] light. Light means in all senses.

I begin to see truth in the Bible I never noticed before. Those old fellows got wise to the game. 

Lay not up treasures on earth, et cetera—I am short on the quotation, but you recall the idea. The treasures were to be laid up over here where they had some true value.

Earth values are so false. They almost overlook entirely what lasts—what moulds the Universe, which is human character. That is the answer to everything—character. It has nothing to do with property or possessions so-called. Even one's garments here are made from one's quality of character.

—Spirit Harry

You progress through recognising your faults, through transmuting and transcending them. If you are perfect, this world is no place for you.

—The Judge [War Letters]

Spirits do not exactly ‘move with the times’ because they are always very much ahead of the times! And they have every need to be—to meet the heavy demands placed upon them by the earth world.

Pizza is a Band Aid for so many problems.

―Mike Birbiglia

Being poor is a frame of mind.

—Mike Todd

Is there a hell of brimstone and fire?

Even if there were a hell of brimstone and fire, as some think and teach, could the angels in heaven find any better employment than saving souls from such a pit of darkness?

What is Zen by Alan Watts?

Above not a tile to cover the head, below not an inch of ground to stand on.

—Zen Buddhist Poem

No man can be wise without love, and no woman can truly love and not be wise―they must go hand in hand together. 

Each angel is in two forms, male and female, making the one angel―each one strictly and evenly balanced―not as they are on earth, mismatched, mismated, one small, the other large, one desiring one thing, the other something else, one understanding a thing one way, the other another way―they are inseparable and work in unison together. 

They never part unless separated for a very short time to carry out some work, which they have in common. They perceive truth alike and have one mind in all things. It is impossible for them to disagree in anything. They are loving, inseparable souls, forever journeying on together in the paths of wisdom and love, scattering bright truth around them.

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.

—William Arthur Ward

How to think godly thoughts?

When you think of the dawn of day as beautiful, think how much more beautiful the dawn of eternal day will be—made so by your own efforts. Such a thought should inspire you to do your earthly best.

Overcome! for Jesus—

If you want to use signs and symbols, meditate on the cross of Christ. The cross of Christ is profound enough for a lifetime’s meditation.

—“X”

It is a wonderful thing, this godly nature. We strive with all our might to be like unto Him as much as possible. We try our spiritual best to advance along the right pathways ever. We rejoice whenever we feel that we have accomplished something to make us nearer heaven's door. We mount with each pure thought, and you, dear friends of earth, do the same.

You may not realise it, as you cannot see clearly into the future, but with every kindly thought and act you are coming onward step by step.

That is why we are ever so anxious for you to do the right. We can see you advance and it gives us greatest joy to attend you along the way.

―Clifford in Spirit

Devil in Hell

Here we are, Sister, writes Helen. Harry wants me to write first, as he is too weak to push through the separating wall of neutral matter, which lies between your plane and ours.

Tell Mamma that when Harry left his body he was not at all aware he was gone until he saw me beside him instead of the doctor―and too, he came through the dark belt in a few seconds, so was full of thoughts.

The sight of my face startled him and made him take himself to task for sleeping so soon after dinner.

Then I laughed, and something about that giggle recalled his little boy memory of me. He smiled at me, saying―

Am I really out of it at last, and is this Helen?

Sister said last summer you would be on hand when I came over here. My―but you are good to look at. I had forgotten what fine eyes you had. I remember now, and that habit of wrinkling your nose when you laughed. It was that, which opened up the door of memory, and that giggle. Well―I suppose it is up to us to renew our relationship. Put me wise to this deal.

Then he remembered Marie, and said―What will she do now, poor girl?

She is about all in anyway, and now I have slid out of the game she will be not only all in, but heartbroken besides, for she loves me. How can I help her, Helen?

Harry stood silent a long time beside his old body. Poor devil, he muttered, as he looked. What a thin old hulk it is! The marvel is how I managed the old machine so long. Then he stretched his arms up and out and smiled at the sense of power and health he felt, and said―

Gee, Helen, is it not just great to really live?

After it was all over, what a beautiful time we all did have with the music as we sat together.

Harry continues his letter.

We stand here hand in hand, and it is good to have such a fine big sister to show me the ropes and help me to bear the separation from my own folks. You never can see or hear me when I sit among you and want to butt in on any little gabfest you are having, nor can you realise how big and strong I look.

I am rather struck on my looks.

It is a long time since I looked like a real man, and I cannot help feeling fine over it. I cheer myself up, feeling my arms and legs, and finding them hard as ever they were. 

What gets my goat still is how I can feel so firm and hard and material, and yet sail right through the sitting room wall or closed door. It keeps me wondering at the marvels of Nature, for, of course it is as natural and customary here, as walking upstairs is with you.

This getting about game here has wireless skinned a million miles―it is so simple seemingly, and so swift, and so altogether satisfactory.

Yet I am the sub freshman in a kindergarten class when it comes to really knowing anything about this place.

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