How to be at peace with death?

The following vivid description of death is from the pen of Andrew Jackson Davis, prophet of American Spiritualism―

When the hour of her death arrived, I was fortunately in a proper state of mind and body to induce the superior [clairvoyant] condition, but previous to throwing my spirit into that condition, I sought the most convenient and favourable position that I might be allowed to make the observations entirely unnoticed and undisturbed. Thus situated and conditioned, I proceeded to observe and investigate the mysterious processes of dying and to learn what it is for an individual human spirit to undergo the changes consequent upon physical death or external dissolution. They were these—I saw that the physical organisation could no longer subserve the diversified purposes or requirements of the spiritual principle. But the various internal organs of the body appeared to resist the withdrawal of the animating soul. 

The body and soul, like two friends, strongly resisted the various circumstances, which rendered their eternal separation imperative and absolute. 

These internal conflicts gave rise to manifestations of what seemed to be to the material senses the most thrilling and painful sensations, but I was unspeakably thankful and delighted when I perceived and realised the fact that those physical manifestations were indications, not of pain or unhappiness, but simply that the spirit was eternally dissolving its co-partnership with the material organism.

Now the head of the body became suddenly enveloped in a fine, soft, mellow, luminous atmosphere, and as instantly, I saw the cerebrum and the cerebellum expand their most interior portions―I saw them discontinue their appropriate galvanic functions, and then I saw that they became highly charged with the vital electricity and vital magnetism, which permeate subordinate systems and structures. 

That is to say, the brain, as a whole, suddenly declared itself to be tenfold more positive over the lesser proportions of the body than it ever was during the period of health. This phenomenon invariably precedes physical dissolution. 

Now the process of dying―or the spirit's departure from the body was fully commenced. 

The brain began to attract the elements of electricity, of magnetism, of motion, of life, of sensation into its various and numerous departments. The head became intensely brilliant and I particularly remarked that just in the same proportion as the extremities of the organism grew dark and cold, the brain appeared light and glowing.

Now I saw in the mellow, spiritual atmosphere, which emanated from and encircled her head, the indistinct outlines of the formation of another head. 

This new head unfolded more and more distinctly, and so indescribably compact and intensely brilliant did it become, that I could neither see through it, nor gaze upon it as steadily as I desired.

While this spiritual head was being eliminated and organised from out of and above the material head, I saw that the surrounding aromal atmosphere, which had emanated from the material head was in great commotion, but as the new head became more distinct and perfect, this brilliant atmosphere gradually disappeared. This taught me that those aromal elements, which were in the beginning of the metamorphosis attracted from the system into the brain and thence eliminated in the form of an atmosphere were indissolubly united in accordance with the divine principle of Affinity in the Universe, which pervades and destinates every particle of matter and developed the spiritual head, which I beheld.

In the identical manner in which the spiritual head was eliminated and unchangeably organised, I saw unfolding in their natural progressive order, the harmonious development of the neck, shoulders, breast, and the entire spiritual organisation. It appeared from this even to an unequivocal demonstration that the innumerable particles of what might be termed unparticled matter, which constitutes the man's spiritual principle are constitutionally endowed with certain elective affinities, analogous to an immortal friendship.

The innate tendencies, which the elements and essences of her soul manifested by uniting and organising themselves were the efficient and imminent causes, which unfolded and perfected her spiritual organisation. 

The defects and deformities of her physical body were in the spiritual body, which I saw thus developed almost completely removed. In other words, it seemed that those hereditary obstructions and influences were now removed, which originally arrested the full and proper development of her physical constitution and her spiritual constitution being elevated above those obstructions was enabled to unfold and perfect itself in accordance with the universal tendencies of all created things. While this spiritual formation was going on, which was perfectly visible to my spiritual perceptions, the material body manifested to the outer vision of observing individuals in the room many symptoms of uneasiness and pain, but the indications were totally deceptive―they were wholly caused by the departure of the vital or spiritual forces from the extremities and viscera into the brain and thence into the ascending organism.

The spirit arose at right angles over the head or brain of the deserted body. But immediately previous to the final dissolution of the relationship, which had for so many years subsisted between the two spiritual and material bodies, I saw playing energetically between the feet of the elevated spiritual body and the head of the prostrate physical body, a bright stream or current of vital electricity. And here I perceived what I had never before obtained a knowledge of that a small portion of this vital electrical element returned to the deserted body immediately subsequent to the separation of the umbilical thread and that that portion of this element, which passed back into the earthly organism instantly diffused itself through the entire structure and thus prevented immediate decomposition.

As soon as the spirit whose departing hour I thus watched was wholly disengaged from the tenacious physical body, I directed my attention to the movements and emotions of the former and I saw her begin to breathe the most interior or spiritual portions of the surrounding terrestrial atmosphere. At first it seemed with difficulty that she could breathe the new medium, but in a few seconds she inhaled and exhaled the spiritual elements of nature with the greatest possible ease and delight. And now I saw that she was in possession of exterior and physical proportions, which were identical in every possible particular—improved and beautified with those proportions, which characterised her earthly organisation. That is to say, she possessed a heart, stomach, liver, lungs, and so on, just as her natural body did previous to (not her, but) its death. 

This is a wonderful and consoling truth! 

But I saw that the improvements, which were wrought upon and in her spiritual organisation were not so particular and thorough as to destroy or transcend her personality―nor did they materially alter her natural appearance―or earthly characteristics. So much like her former self was she that had her friends beheld her as I did, they certainly would have exclaimed—as we often do upon the sudden return of a long absent friend who leaves us in illness and returns in health—

Why, how well you look! How improved you are!

Such was the nature, most beautifying in their extent, of the improvements that were wrought upon her. I saw her continue to conform and accustom herself to the new elements and elevating sensations, which belong to the inner life. I did not particularly notice the workings and emotions of her newly-awakening and fast-unfolding spirit except that I was careful to remark her philosophical tranquility throughout the entire process and her non-participation with the different members of her family in their unrestrained bewailing of her departure from the earth to unfold in Love and Wisdom throughout eternal spheres. She understood at a glance that they could only gaze upon the cold and lifeless form, which she had but just deserted and she readily comprehended the fact that it was owing to a want of true knowledge upon their parts that they thus vehemently regretted her merely physical death.

The period required to accomplish the entire change, which I saw was not far from two hours and a half, but this furnished no rule as to the time required for every spirit to elevate and reorganise itself above the head of the outer form.

Without changing my position or spiritual perceptions, I continued to observe the movements of her newborn spirit. As soon as she became accustomed to the new elements, which surrounded her, she descended from her elevated position, which was immediately over the body by an effort of willpower and directly passed out of the door of the bedroom in which she had lain in the material form prostrated with disease for several weeks. It being in a summer month, the doors were all open and her egress from the house was attended with no obstruction. 

I saw her pass through the adjoining room, out of the door, and step from the house into the atmosphere! I was overwhelmed with delight and astonishment when for the first time, I realised the universal truth that the spiritual organisation can tread the atmosphere, which while in the coarser earthly form we breathe—so much more refined is man's spiritual constitution. She walked in the atmosphere as easily and in the same manner as we tread the earth and ascend an eminence.

Immediately upon her emergement from the house, she was joined by two friendly spirits from the spiritual country, and after tenderly recognising and communing with each other, the three in the most graceful manner began ascending obliquely through the ethereal envelopment of our globe. They walked so naturally and fraternally together that I could scarcely realise the fact that they trod the air—they seemed to be walking upon the side of a glorious, but familiar mountain. I continued to gaze upon them until the distance shut them from my view, whereupon I returned to my external and ordinary condition.

The Encyclopaedia of Death and Life in the Spirit World―Opinions and Experiences from Eminent Sources