A Mother’s Experience on Passing Away

A Mother’s experience on passing (addressed to her grown-up daughters)—

My Dear Daughters

I know you all thought and hoped that when your mother died, she went to heaven but since then you have learned more of the life after death and you will not be surprised when I tell you that I have not yet even seen the gates of heaven. Yet I am really happy; yes, very happy, as I could not have been if this place had been what I expected. When I first woke up, it seemed like earth, only I thought I had crossed somehow to a new country. I expected your father to join me by-and-by and bring the children with him (for I thought you were still all little ones). The air was so sweet and the people all so kind and I said I must not be idle until the others come, so I have work to do, clothes to make, it seemed to be. Then, one day, I remembered suddenly about Sunday and I asked where the church was. The person I asked smiled and said softly, This is the church—this world is the temple, not made with hands, where we worship the Father. As she spoke, a shock went through me and I heard hundreds of voices saying, Praise Him, praise the everlasting King. Then, in a moment, it was shown me that I had died and these were spirits round me; yet I had no fear at all, only a great wonder. I knelt down and said the Lord’s Prayer, for that was all that I could remember just then. Although I knew, as I have said, that I had died, yet it seemed impossible to believe it, for everything was so different from what I had been taught to expect. I said to my friend—How is it that my body is here; I thought it would be left in the grave. She said, Yes, that body is in the grave; the one you have is a new one and very different from the old. Did you not think you were young? Yet when you died you were old and your body nearly worn out. Then I remembered the latter part of my life and things seemed stranger than ever. But I thought we should be like angels and have wings, I said. You do not have wings exactly, she replied, but if you want to pass quickly from this place to any other, you can—Take my hand and try. We seemed to fly and, in a moment, we were in a different place; I saw your father leading an old man by the hand and talking to him but my tongue was tied and I could not speak to him. Then we flew back again and I was left to myself to try and settle my thoughts, which were so confused. I said to myself that surely in heaven—for that was where I thought myself—in heaven, they all sing psalms and I cannot sing a note and they all wear white robes and have harps in their hands; yet I saw none of these things, nor any throne.

Then a voice seemed to whisper in my ear and it said—The white robe is what you have been working at here; it is ready now—the psalm was the Our Father, which sounded like music in my ear and the throne, my throne is in your heart. And then, my dear children, I first began really to understand and a deep peace came over me. But I could never tell you how I found out one thing after another; what new powers I had and how wonderful everything seemed but I kept saying, Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth, while the voice continually whispered to me and taught me to understand. After that time, I did not do much work, for I was busy learning—I was told that as my life had been filled with outward work, work done mostly with my hands, I was now to be taught to think and because my life had been all taken up with my family, I was to live for a time with strangers—not that I had been wrong so much as one-sided, only half of me having grown. Now the other half is being made to grow and every day I learn about the mysteries of God and of our own life, which is just as wonderful. Perhaps you think that my life is too much like an earthly one but it is not; only I cannot explain to you the things that are quite different. It seems to me as if, on earth, people were like dead things compared to what we are here. One thing in the life here might seem strange to you—it is that the best and highest live almost constantly with those who are troubled and suffering—for there is suffering here—awful anguish sometimes but I need not tell you about that, as it would do no good. I am not called upon to take part in this service yet but when I am fit, I shall be willing. Your father has both suffered and been allowed to help others—his life is all busy, while mine is quiet or only busy in learning. I have not seen any angel or anyone but human beings yet. We have worship and the music and words are our own—each time they spring up in our hearts like a fountain, yet it all goes well together. I am never tired now, nor get weary of what I have to do—I do not know if the time is long or short but I suppose I have been here a few years now. It was given to me to come and tell you a few things and when others have written, I have always known what they have told you. Do you wonder what there is here to make me so happy? We are happy because we know God loves us and we love Him back and that makes us blessed. He teaches me by the voice of His dear Son and He will teach you all that when you join me here, you will not have so much to learn or so long to wait before getting your new soul and going up higher. I should like to look after some of the little motherless children who come here but I am not chosen to do that work.

Dear children, be sure to see that your minds and souls grow as well as your hearts and bodies. Every loving, true word and every simple, righteous action is treasure laid up in heaven. Live so that when you come over you may not be poor and ashamed but may be strong and able to help others. If you are lifted up in spirit while still living on the earth, you will draw up others as our Lord did. Every thought is a seed and every word a root from which must spring up a harvest either of wheat or tares. Try to sow good seed that you may have sheaves of ripe corn to lay at the Master’s feet by-and-by.